Things we do in the kitchen that nobody else would understand.
Now do not get this twisted! I have no problems against homosexuals. Their business is their business.
In the kitchen, something brings out our feminine side, maybe its the nurturing we are doing by cooking food for others. I do not know. I think it is hilarious though. When my Puerto Rican pantry guy is dry humping my Filipino inside grill guy over a prep table across some sweet potato peelings because he didn't have rose petals.(picture will come soon) Or when same guy is thrusting his crotch into my same grill guy's face as he sits down in our closet like office. Or when somebody reaches into the lowboy cooler by squatting down....And we throw our apron over their head and push on the back of their heads with an expression of pleasure across our face. Then there are the times when someone goes into the walk-in and we bum-rush him with the lights off and lightly beat the shit out of him then try to rape him. Sometimes it almost goes to far, when the victim is screaming...His pants and boxers are coming off! How about when there is a squeeze bottle of remoulade and someone simulates their are jacking off and blowing their "load" all over the cutting board? I think I am getting bored of the squash/zucchini/cucumber/carrot or other fallic vegetable being used as their cock or placed/rubbed/rammed in someone else's ass/neck/hand/face.
When a girl enters our kitchen the gay games cease at an instant. They do not want to be perceived as gay and ruin their chances with this girl.
I know we are busy as all hell but yet we FIND the time to play jokes and dry hump each other. You got to love this business!!
Now, we don't care if you do take it in the ass or suck cock. Your sexual preference is no matter to us, we spend too much time together everyday as a "family" to pass judgement. We will pass judgement if you are not set up on time and get in the weeds during service. If you can't cook to the level we need...you will be 86'd.
Yes, there are women in our kitchen and some of them we do not mess with, the others give as good as we do. We respect the ones that do not play around with us and that does not make them less of "family" to us.
If you DO take it personally then you really have no business in the kitchen.
In the kitchen, something brings out our feminine side, maybe its the nurturing we are doing by cooking food for others. I do not know. I think it is hilarious though. When my Puerto Rican pantry guy is dry humping my Filipino inside grill guy over a prep table across some sweet potato peelings because he didn't have rose petals.(picture will come soon) Or when same guy is thrusting his crotch into my same grill guy's face as he sits down in our closet like office. Or when somebody reaches into the lowboy cooler by squatting down....And we throw our apron over their head and push on the back of their heads with an expression of pleasure across our face. Then there are the times when someone goes into the walk-in and we bum-rush him with the lights off and lightly beat the shit out of him then try to rape him. Sometimes it almost goes to far, when the victim is screaming...His pants and boxers are coming off! How about when there is a squeeze bottle of remoulade and someone simulates their are jacking off and blowing their "load" all over the cutting board? I think I am getting bored of the squash/zucchini/cucumber/carrot or other fallic vegetable being used as their cock or placed/rubbed/rammed in someone else's ass/neck/hand/face.
When a girl enters our kitchen the gay games cease at an instant. They do not want to be perceived as gay and ruin their chances with this girl.
I know we are busy as all hell but yet we FIND the time to play jokes and dry hump each other. You got to love this business!!
Now, we don't care if you do take it in the ass or suck cock. Your sexual preference is no matter to us, we spend too much time together everyday as a "family" to pass judgement. We will pass judgement if you are not set up on time and get in the weeds during service. If you can't cook to the level we need...you will be 86'd.
Yes, there are women in our kitchen and some of them we do not mess with, the others give as good as we do. We respect the ones that do not play around with us and that does not make them less of "family" to us.
If you DO take it personally then you really have no business in the kitchen.
posted by Chef Cyril at Sunday, October 23, 2005
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